Originally written in January 2019. Relevant today as the abortion fight continues.
During the week prior to and the days leading up to this announcement, a strong sense of needing to share a particular part of my life, one that I, honestly, like to keep under the radar, came over me. Initially I didn’t understand why the desire to write my story had sprang up so suddenly (though abortion is a subject/crisis near to my heart), but when I came across the above linked headline (on January 23rd), stating that the state of New York had voted to legalize abortion up to birth, I did.
Wickedness, sisters, is bearing its ugly face down on us. And because of that, and because I like to be obedient, I’ve come to share my story today.
Back when I was 17, four months into my senior year of high school, I found out the unthinkable: I was pregnant. I’d been planning for college, had gotten accepted into the one school I’d always longed to go to, and there I was… pregnant. What should I do?
Caught in a crossway of my own life and the baby’s, my mind began to scout ideas. Soon, one that I’d long abhorred came to mind: abortion. I could get rid of the baby, I rationalized as I stood alone in the kitchen, and go on with my life. But as I walked out of the kitchen with my nifty idea in tow, I could feel something sharply recoil in me as I continued contemplating it; and I knew, right away and without doubt (though not yet fully committed), that God was NOT pleased. Abortion was a definite no, and right then and there I tossed that idea away—feeling horrid for ever entertaining it—and never looked back. Even when the dad came along hinting at the idea, my stance was firm. Eight months later, I’d birth a handsome and healthy baby boy—the baby boy I’d watched God provide for throughout my pregnancy, without me working (as I had to finish school), and despite my error in judgment.
Fast forward 17 years: the baby, my only, is now 16, and we’ve had quite the journey. I could have never imagined the gift that God had given me when He placed that little human in my womb. He has excelled greatly, in sports and in school, and he’s one of the most down to earth kids I know (although he’s not perfect, as no one is). Had I allowed my flesh to rule, however, or my fear of single motherhood (which I knew was on the way), I would have missed out on all of the great things God had in store for us (particularly, getting to know Him on a different level).
Friends, the world does its best to convince us that the little ones God places into our wombs aren’t human and somehow don’t matter to the world, but that is a lie straight from the pit of hell.
In Jeremiah 1:5, God Himself says to the prophet Jeremiah, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Then again, in Psalm 139, we find (from David to God), “For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (verses 13-14). In verses 15 and 16 he says, “My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be” (emphasis added to verses).
So then, having these truths made available to us in God’s Word, the truths that declare all life intentional and purposeful, why do we sacrifice our children, God’s gifts (Psalm 127:3), to Molech? (See Leviticus 18:21, 20:2-5, and Jeremiah 32:35 concerning Molech, the god that required child sacrifice as worship.) Why do we provoke the wrath of God?
But what if a girl was raped? someone might say. Why should she have to carry and birth her rapist’s child? You obviously don’t understand. Oh, but I do, and I have a story along those lines, too. You see, at the age of 21, I was that girl, violated by a perfect stranger. After reporting what happened to the police, I was taken to the hospital to do what is known as a rape kit. Following that, the nurse gave me a pill that would, as she said it, do away with pregnancy, if that had occurred. So I thought, Okay. But when she left me standing in the room, pill cup and water in hand, I found myself unable to do it. I couldn’t terminate a baby, I told myself, even if it did come from a horrible situation. The baby is still mine. So right then and there, I threw the pill in the trash, emptied the cup of water, and decided that if I was pregnant (I wasn’t), I’d trust God to provide for us, and to help me to genuinely love the baby, in spite of who the father was.
Years later, I’d learn that the pill she’d given me wouldn’t actually terminate a pregnancy but could prevent a pregnancy from occurring if taken within the proper time frame. Nevertheless, I do believe that scenario went the way it did for a reason, as it gave me the opportunity to see that we can trust God through anything, if only we’d make that choice.
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Regardless to the situation of how a child is conceived, the child is no mistake and shouldn’t be treated as such (let alone murdered). Would carrying a rapist’s child to term be difficult? I’m sure it would be. However, it is no different than any other difficulty we are called to face in this life, with God as our sustainer.
Sure, the world will balk at such an idea, and call us crazy for even considering it, but as Romans 12:2 reminds us, we don’t conform to the way of the world, no matter how “foolish” we may look in its eyes for not doing so. A child is a good and perfect gift from above, and that is so at the very start of conception. No matter how many cheers the world gives at putting them to death, no matter how many laws are passed to uphold and justify their murder, children matter to God, and He will vindicate them in due time.
In the meantime, let us hold fast to truth, and let us continue fighting on these little ones’ behalf; for surely, whatever we do for those precious little lives that are helpless in utero, we are doing for God.
P.S. To any woman who may have had an abortion and find yourself suffering guilt on account of your actions, understand that God’s forgiveness and love is there for the taking, when you repent and believe on His Son, Jesus Christ. It is true that you can never go back and undo what has been done, but you can rest in the grace of God, knowing that when you surrender your life to Him, He remembers your sin no more. David says in Psalm 103, “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to His children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust” (verses 11-14). Amen.